2012 On The Way

hello pairs of eyes. judging from the time, 2011 soon gonna say goodbye to us. rasa susah sangat nak lepaskan 2011 pergi. im not like everyone else. will be hepy to celebrate incoming new years. tapi aku? seperti tahun2 yang sebelum ni 2011 banyak meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam terhadap hidup aku. im changing. Yesss.. keep on changing years after years. getting more matured for every each one after another dugaan yang datang.

Boleh tak tahun 2012 ni nnt this machine tersenarai dalam salah satu wishlist aku? :D

mungkin aku sudah kehilangan satu kehidupan yang pernah aku miliki dulu. and maybe it is worth it to begin the new life and let by gone be by gone. tapi im still im. dulu kini dan selamanya aku akan tetap aku. sebagaimannya aku dulu begitu jugalah kemudiannya aku. im still hepy being who i am. swear i never regret been living in this perfect world. walaupun aku pernah frust dengan apa pernah aku lalui dalam hidup.

So untuk cuti tahun baru ni aku akan spend holiday kat sini.  percayalahh~

aku menyesal aku pernah menyesal dengan life ini. sorry i have no more word to explain more bout it. tapi you all please accept your life as given to you and never regret it. appreciate it and sure your life just like a miracle to happen for you. kehidupan tu satu anugerah terbesar yang Allah bagi kat kita. kalau ucapan terima kasih tu kita hargai dengan menjawab balik dengan ucapan sama-sama. so macam mana pulak dengan anugerah terbesar yang Allah bagi ni? macam mana kita nak hargainya? remember peeps do care ur life thats how u appreciate it. jangan pernah sesekali cuba untuk hancurkan hidup sendiri sekaligus menyakitkan diri sendiri. sure u will damn yourself back.

fine. fine. yg holiday td aku tipu. tapi betul masa countdown tahun baru aku akan lepak kat Haagen Dazs yang open 24 jam. do believe me ;)

azam 2012? setiap kali tiba tahun baru. orang ramai sibuk bercakap pasal azam masing2. ada yang setinggi langit tak kurang juga sekadar menanam azam dan tak mustahil ada yang lansung tak ada azam. penting ke azam ni? hey HELLO. penting oke! sebab apa melalui azam lah you all akan improve diri sendiri to be a better person. tak nak ke jadi yang lebih baik? takkan masih nak berada di takuk yang lama ye dakk?

or im gonna miss my little beby bebit on new years nite~

cakap pasal azam aku.. ehmm~ i have only a few azam but maybe i'll tell ya next time. tapi yang semestinya tu mestilah aku nak 2012 yang bakal say hello kat aku ni adalah lebih baik dari 2011. but still im afraid to face the new years. the past prove me new years doesnt  make change in my life coz ntahla. aku rasa setiap tahun hidup aku tetap berat. bukan berat pasal apa. cuma banyak masalah yang menimpa2. kadang tu tak tertanggung rasanya. masalah kecik tu doesnt matter la. but if everytime asyik masalah yang gedabak gaban mana tahan kann. tapi takpela. Tuhan nak uji aku. and syukurlah aku ni penyabar. if not? haihhh~ hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu kan..

or maybe i shud look forward into my life :)

so Buddies wanna wish you all HAPPY NEW YEARS. and hey its gonna be soonnnnn~ unbelievable but must to believe even still rasa macam baru je tengok Konsert untuk tahun baru kat TV3 awal tahun 2011. lip lap lip lap dah tahun baru.. begitulah masa.. cepat je berlalu~~ Kannnn? okeh. thats all. with love. *flying kiss. Muahhhzzzz~

TENTANG DHIA: Pecinta Setia

adikadik abangabang kakakkakak makmak abahabah toktok neknek pakcikpakcik makcikmakcik sedarasedara sedarisedari tak kira bangsa agama umat kaler kulit bentuk kening rupa paras tinggi rendah pahit masin mesti pakat dok layan TENTANG DHIA kan. well officially cerita tu pun dah sampai the end hari ni. mesti sentap hati maq naq kan hangpa biler tengok ending tu kan. hehe. hangpa kena redha. sebab apa citer melayu memang selalu lagu ni. yang last2 tu yang baik jugak lah innalillah. nak buat camne kan, pengarah nak bagi effect yang punya mendalam kat penonton. takkan dia nak buat cerita yang penonton boleh expect apa yang nak jadi bila sampai ending kan. mesti la nak buat ending yang GEMPAK contohnya watak utama mati kena makan boya ka. yang jahat dapat teko ajaib aladdin ka. aku rasa hangpa pon faham kot noh apa yang aku nak terangkan. overall citer ni oke. ada part2 yang memboringkan (besala drama...)  ada part2 yang buat kita nak tarik rambut sampai botak (aku harap bila sampai part ni hangpa sabaq noh sebab tu  cuma dugaan dalam drama TV).

TAPI bukan Tentang Dhia ni yang aku nak ceritakan. aku nak cerita pasai Dhia saja. erk. Pasai Dhia = Tentang Dhia. arhh.. tak kira la mana2 pun. janji pasai Dhia lah yang aku nak ceritakan which is Nur Kamadhia. Hangpa boleh imejin dak kalau hampa dapat pecinta macam si Dhia ni? yela. aku ada jugak doubt still wujud ke pecinta setia, suci, mulus, gebu, err yang penting IKHLAS macam Dhia? patut jugakla aku doubting pasal ni kan, sebab apa la ni dah bersepah playboy playgirl. asyik tukaq gepren boipren. tak tau la apa nak jadi dengan budak2 la ni noh. sampai bertukaq2 awek pakwek ni dah jadi macam satu hobi. isk isk isk. oke enough for budak2 zaman sekarang. sambung pasai Dhia. aku bukan apa, aku respect ar dengan keikhlasan hati dia terhadap suami dia. walau macam mana besaq pun dugaan mai duk hempap dia, tetap dia sabaq untuk kekal bersama husband dia. punyalah dia cinta & setia kat laki dia kan. hangpa ada dak lagu tu? hehe. time yang aku rasa nak runtuh hati aku bila dia sanggup bermadu bila laki dia nak kawen lain. hangpa tengok tuu!! kalau aku la aku sepak terajang dah laki aku. haha. ehh lawak ja noh. aku tak kawen lagi so tak tau la macam mana. tapi part husband dia ignore Dhia for few months tu memang merunsingkan. tau dak sebab apa? yela, laki selalu tak nampak macam mana besaqnya cinta seorang pompuan tu kat dia. dok dengaq cakap orang lain. bukan nak percaya cakap orang yang dia duk cinta. iskk tak tau la kalau ada orang macam ni. mau pi luku kepala dia sedas dua bagi sedaq sikit. bagi dia reti hargai cinta yang dia dah dapat tu. bukan senang nak dapat cinta sejati macam tu.

Nora Danish ni COMEL sangat macam aku kan? ahaks~

ni nak habaq sikit kat hangpa2 ni kalau dah jumpa someone yang hangpa rasa macam 'Ohhh dia lah satu2 nya' please never let he/she go because you will never found that satusatunya lagi oke! oleh itu la, kena belajaq menghargai. jangan tamak in love. elakkan demand dalam percintaan & terima si dia seadanya because nobody is perfect. kita pun tak sempurna nak pulak orang yang sempurna. hey boleh blah la lu. jangan ingat lu perfect oke ;) sampai kemampusan pun takkan jumpa orang yang perfect unless diri sendiri je yang perasan lebih kata perfect. oke aku rasa sampai takat ni jela dulu noh. kalau ada lagi yang nak tambah maybe entry akan datang kot. InsyaALLAH. Assalammualaikum. May Allah bless you all. :)

sebaik2 pilihan

semua orang ada hak untuk pileh dan buat keputusan yang dikehendaki. tapi kadang keputusan yang dibuat dan jalan yang dipilih dipengaruhi oleh faktor2 tertentu, like, orang yang disayangi tak kurang jugak yang dibenci, cuaca yang panas tak mustahil jugak time bersalji, angin yang kencang dan angin yang sepoi2 bahasa, perasaan marah, suka, nangis,  patah hati and sebagainya. and setiap apa yang telah dipilih itu mesti ada sebab munasabab nye. ada keputusan yang dibuat dengan ikhlas dan tak mustahil keputusan yang dibuat bukan lah dengan rela hati disebabkan faktor2 yang telah dinyatakan tadi. selalunya keputusan yang dibuat dengan seikhlas hati takkan dikesali campared to decision yang dibuat atas paksaan atau simpati atau marah atau.. err berapa banyak atau lah. Pokok nya keputusan atau jalan yang dipileh atas bukan kehendak hati selalunya akan buat kita kecewa, sedih, menyesal and all sort of negative feelings. and semua negative things ni boleh lead kita untuk buat a stupid decision and make life getting worse. so people do listen this carefully, please and please and very please make a right decision in your life! make sure decision that u have made will make u happier. no doubting if u wanna be hepy and enjoy life. life is easy. but when it comes into decision it will be tougher. :)

I feel..

wanna know what im feeling right now?

its a feeling of fucking death but painless. :)

Hey Birthday

nothing much to say on my birthday. just HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me. :)

no cake. no party. no candies. no present.

well its okay

as long as 

i still got a few close chumps to celebrate with

even thought its just a small celebration 

while chilling & lepaking somewhere like McD ^^

still im appreciating every single good things that 

happen in my life.  

It is mine!

i wanna be heppy.

looks charming all day long.

i wanna be everyone best friend.

believing that love is true.

enjoying every single little things of my life.

freedom with limit.

no sorrow haunting.

forgetting all bout misery of life.

i dont care if nobody care me coz i dont care them too.

im still here, in this perfect world, living the life to the fullest, hope so, and my life, it just me and only me who deserve to decide whats life im going to live. im moron and surviving alone. im wearing my own slippers not yours. i eat in plate not on grave. my tounge in my mouth and its not yours. the skin is mine, you got one too. my colour is mine. so if u wanna ruin one life, please ruin yours not mine. because i already did and im not hoping it for the second times.

Pieces of Heart

Dear Uuu,
Sorry im not a good lover as i did before.
Sorry I cant spend so much time with u as I've being so busy.
Sorry my love not strong enough like as u love me.
Sorry I cant take care of u very well coz I'm so far from u.
Sorry if u felt like i dunt care much bout u.
Sorry I cant be ur gud n loyal companion every each time.
Sorry for making u sad while im happy
Sorry for hurting u but i didnt meant it
Sorry for broke ur heart coz i dun noe ur heart was so fragile
Sorry I cant take it anymore.
Sorry for everything as there are so much sorry that i wanna say.
Sorry. Thats all i can say :'( nothing much i can do.

U such a good lover. & I wanna LOVE U. but I cant ;( i dont deserve for u. I try so hard before. & pretending that I'm so in luv wif u. But actually its only just not more dari perasaan suka & sayang. Rite now i belief theres no cinta from me for u. I lie u while i trying to luv u. I fail to fall in love wif u =(( Once again, Im sorry...

I have a teribble life before which is nobody knows bout this, and the only one knows is my family but not all they know bout it :) & i have ever promise to myself to face it alone and wont tell it to anyone. The past leave me a big scar which i cant forget! Now, there are no more tears anymore. But tonite all that burst & hurt me again. & i cant keep it any longer. The time have come. & it burst. Everything juz hit on my head. and i cant think any. I'm hopeless. So, i'll let it go one by one....

I dont want u to be like one of my past. So, i'll let u go first as i also cant love u sincerely :( Its better to hurt rite now than to be hurt later, coz i know it much more painfull..

I Love U. yes. but, the love only a love of a fren :) not more than that. Hope u'll understand :)

Take care dear. & Thx for everything :) & Hopefully u'll get a better life after this & get someone who can really love u, take care of u & make u happy ever after :D

With Love,
Red :)

i found this message which i sent to you when you were at Aussie for your medical treatment as I cant go and visit you there while you really hope that i'll be beside you on that time. since i sent you the message i never get any reply from you. still im waiting and wondering why. i know i have hurt you. but at least give me a response. but you just left me quitly and you hurt me more than i do. i really want to explain why. but i cant find you. i lost you and left me with tears all night. untill one day i decide to leave all the memories of you and start a new day with forgetting you. glad i did it. but its not easy. still wondering if you have forgiven me or not. a long time had gone. but suddenly i remember you when i found this message. i have no choice. i cant forget you just like that as you are part of my memories. so why do i have throw all the memories away as i have been through it before. i know its hurt before. but you are the one who had bring the happiness and love to my life. you will be the one of the memorable memories of mine. i wonder if i never meet you maybe i wont know the meaning of life, friendship and love. i would like to thank you for all the change you have made in my life. Now i got a lot of friends and i found love. and i hope you so. i just want to know are you still remember me? will you forgive me? can we be friend back as you are the best friend i have ever had? i hope you will read this and get back to me soon. remember im always waiting for your forgiveness. :)